KEY SCRIPTURE: Romans 12:1

1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Notes:

One of the things that we must develop at Freedom Life Church is a culture of honor. We must develop the discipline of speaking honor into one another. Or, as Paul says, “outdo each other in showing honor.” The only competition we are allowed is outdoing each other in showing honor!

The word “honor” literally means “giving weight,” as in the weight of coins or gold. To evaluate by value-weight. Do we give weight and value to people?

(NOTE: Social scientists have been able to predict with considerable accuracy the future success of relationships based on the contempt factor. Jesus taught us this when he wanted us against dismissing people as “fools” and “worthless people.”)

Before we take more about building a culture of honor, let’s look at the need for building culture intentionally.

CHURCH CULTURE: BY DEFAULT OR DESIGN?

Kevin Gerald (Champions Centre, Tacoma, WA) says that “culture happens by default or by design.” And culture happens by what we say “yes” to and what we say “no” to: “Do this, don't do that.” — Jesus in Luke 10. Culture develops based on what we tolerate.

In past church cultures, we tolerated a culture of contempt (disdain). Our culture was toxic regarding identity. (Identity in the religious world, as elsewhere, is derived by roles and relationships oriented toward power, in this case, the pastor and his family. While loyalty is a good thing, devotion to the pastor to gain proximity to power is not a good thing. This is the infamous Jezebel spirit.)

A healthy culture honors up, down and all around. It's easier to honor up and down, but harder to honor all around. Jesus laid out these three directions of honor when he spoke about honoring prophets, righteous people and children:

Matthew 10:40-41 — 41 “Whoever receives you receives me, and whoever receives me receives him who sent me. 41 The one who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and the one who receives a righteous person because he is a righteous person will receive a righteous person’s reward. 42 And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.“

These three categories are the “up, down and all around“ categories of honor.

WHAT IS THE BASIS FOR HONOR?

First of all, we honor due to the fact that God created us all in his image.
And second, we honor because God valued us enough to send his Son to the cross.
Then, we honor based on office: family office, civil/social office and church office.
After all that, and only after, we honor based on performance and ability.
Last of all, we honor based on appearance. (It is not wrong to honor beauty, but we must keep it last on the list.

Bill Johnson:

“It is a privilege to recognize that everyone has been made in the image of God. Everyone deserves honor because of at least two things: They have been made in God’s image, and He has given them gifts (graces and abilities) so that they can contribute to society.“

“Those who have surrendered their lives to Christ are due another level of honor—the Holy Spirit lives in them. ‘He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward’ (Matthew 10: 41 NASB). To receive someone into our lives is to recognize the gift that person has and acknowledge the way the Holy Spirit works through him or her. This is, in itself, an act of honor.“

“The way we receive people—acknowledge who they are and the gifts they have—also determines the deposit they will be able to make into our lives. I wonder how many people around us, both believers and pre-believers, have something to contribute to our lives, but we miss it because we cannot see God in them. It is especially challenging for most of us when we deal with the unconverted. We tend to be unable to see beyond their unconverted state, which keeps many of us from benefiting from the grace of God on their lives.“

“A culture of honor celebrates who a person is without stumbling over who they are not.“

“We honor people for three reasons: they are made in the image of God; they have gifts planted in them by God; and the presence of God rests upon them. Everyone is worthy of at least the first two.“

A culture of honor is developed as the fruit of a prophetic culture, a culture of encouragement (1 Co 14:3) that discerns and calls out the gold hidden deep in broken people. “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me to heal the broken-hearted,“ the fragmented souls. (Isaiah 61)

When we discern and call out the gold in people, we establish the foundation of honor. Honor cannot truly established on a foundation of “just be nice to people.“ Mere niceness cannot survive the reality of human brokenness. We must have a supernatural, prophetic discernment to call out the gold in people.

Danny Silk (Bethel Church, Redding, CA):

“We owe them this honor. Honor is given on the basis of who people are—not what they have earned, or even what they need. Every person you encounter is one Christ has honored in His life, death, and resurrection. The person may not know who he really is from an eternal standpoint, but we do, and when we have a wealth mindset and a heart of honor, we will treat him accordingly.”

“Honor is one of the most vital core values for creating a safe place where people can be free. Honor protects the value that people have for those who are different than they are.”

“As you are probably aware, high levels of freedom can generate conflict, usually because we experience others who are living in ways that flood our amygdala. Without a core value of honor, we find that our discomfort around those who choose to live in ways that we would not leads us to shut down their freedom.”

We must show honor with thoughts, words and deeds. And we must learn how to honestly evaluate people and discern their strengths and weaknesses while still showing honor. We can honor those that we don’t trust. Police, for example, and politicians. Even family and friends. How do we honestly evaluate without dishonoring?

We must balance HONOR and HONESTY. Honor requires discernment.

We must honor with our hearts and not just with our lips. (“These people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.“) Honor is more than just being nice. Honoring someone is challenging, especially when you feel they don’t deserve it. Developing a culture of honor requires much more than lip service. We must get it in our heart through a revelation of God's will for us and his love for others. Otherwise, our kindness is patronizing.

What does it mean to be patronizing?

Patronizing: treat with an apparent kindness that betrays a feeling of superiority.

“To treat condescendingly, condescend to, look down on, talk down to, put down, treat like a child, treat with disdain.”

“Don’t patronize me!“— condescending, disdainful, supercilious, superior, imperious, scornful, contemptuous; informal uppity, high and mighty “your patronizing mother just told me how ‘adequate’ my dress is.“

Are we tolerant of disrespect in our culture? Do we tolerate mockery and making fun of people? Do we excuse mockery as teasing? Do we tolerate arrogance?

What is the difference between arrogance and confidence? Arrogance puts others down to lift self up. Confidence is rooted in a balanced self-awareness that does not need to subjugate others to elevate self. Confidence is rooted in true humility.

Proverbs 22:10 — “Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.“

Scoffers are disrespectful people. They dishonor others. Scoffers are insecure people who need to belittle people to make themselves appear bigger. Scoffers make light of people. Honor means to give people weight, like weighing gold or silver. “You are worth your weight in gold.“ Scoffers reduce people's status in the eyes of others. Honoring people elevates their esteem in the eyes of others.

Do we make people look good to others?

Do we have the empathy to be sincerely interested in people? Developing empathy requires letting our guard down. Empathy offers honor from the heart and not just the lips.

The greatest barrier to empathy is fear: our insecurity. When we are self-conscious, we close our hearts to others. We put on our mask and wrap our robes tighter around us. We are self-conscious about being judged, and it makes us withdraw into our shells. How do we overcome this?

We must focus on the other person and open our minds to their needs, interest and concerns. We must pray that the Holy Spirit would help us to see people clearly and discern them correctly. The risk of empathy is deception. We can easily be deceived by people when we are too empathic. We must achieve the balance of seeing with compassion and seeing with discernment.

Our goal must be empathy and embrace. The opposite of these is evasion and exclusion. As leaders, it is easy to let a culture of evasion develop by default. It is easy to minimize disagreement and conflict and just hope that it will all go away. But a culture of honor seeks transparency and Spirit-filled conflict resolution.

HEALTHY CONFRONTATION

Danny Silk:

“There will be no culture of honor without the active use of effective confrontation. The skill of combining these two relational elements—honor and confrontation—is the key to sustaining an environment of grace.”

“Gentleness does not mean ‘nice,’ and it doesn’t mean ‘polite.’ The heart of gentleness is the belief that ‘I do not need to control you.’”

How can we develop a culture of healthy confrontation?

“They deserve to be heard.“ — Holy Spirit (to me)

They: focus on others

Deserve: they are worthy of consideration

Heard: listen to their concerns

Healthy confrontation is NOT personal. “When you stand praying, forgive.“ We must work through personal hostility privately until we can confront judicially.
Healthy confrontation is directed at behavior that violates the good of the team, not personality quirks or idiosyncrasies. “Let love cover a multitude of sins.“ Only confront what MUST be confronted to address serious behavior that hinders the mission of the team.
Healthy confrontation is NOT legalistic. We are not working to create a fear-based culture that micromanages and hyper-corrects everything.
Healthy confrontation should normally be lighthearted and easy-going. Serious confrontation must occur only when we have allowed the problem to become serious, and that's usually because we let things go that could have been addressed easily with good humor.
Healthy confrontation occurs when we have honored and valued people enough for them to trust our motives when we confront them. We gain credibility by making regular “credit” deposits in our relationship accounts. Confrontation makes a withdrawal, and if there have been no genuine loving deposits, then the account becomes overdrawn. Hostility indicates an overdraft!

But what do we do when a person is not approachable? How do we confront effectively when dealing with strong-willed, aggressive—or, passive-aggressive—people? Matthew 18: confront privately; confront with a team member; confront before the team.

Wrong reactions and confrontation errors: fight or flight (also freeze or faint). These reflexes are rooted in fear. Our spirit recoils at the aggression of others.

1. Fight: We respond with a fight mechanism that is our mind flooding with adrenaline that equips us to overcome fear and stand up to threatening people.

2. Flight: We respond to intimidating people by avoiding them. We run away. But, since we all have a psychological need to process the offense, we end up criticizing them behind their back and creating a toxic culture of gossip.

Barbara Pachter, The Power of Positive Confrontation

Reasons why we don't confront:

You think, “The other person must know that his behavior is inappropriate or bothersome.“
I don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
You mean I’m allowed to tell people I don’t like their behavior?
I’m afraid of what might happen.
I’m afraid of becoming aggressive.

Non-confronting produces:

Complainers
Avoiders
Pretenders

Then, “relationships drown in resentment.“

Why do confrontations become negative?

We wait until we are ready to blow up.
Our delay exaggerates the situation and caricatures the evil motives and character of our antagonist.
We then use angry and aggressive tactics that reflect our extreme state of mind.

At Freedom Life Church, we are developing a culture of honor and transparency. We will not tolerate non-confronting or non-confront-able people. People who cannot respond well to healthy confrontation are not teachable (coachable). Those who are not teachable cannot continue in leadership. (More on teachability below.)

Barbara Pachter describes what she calls “Polite and Powerful Behavior.“What does that look like? Polite and powerful in action means:

You know what’s bothering you.
You know what it is you want from the other person.
You understand your own position and the other person’s point of view.
You make a conscious choice to say something directly, respectfully, and powerfully.
You use polite language when you speak.

When we confront in a healthy, objective and non-emotional way, we should expect an eager reception. There are two negative reactions that indicate that the confrontation was not well-received:

Anger and retaliation: this is overt resistance to confrontation.
Objection through DEFLECTION and PROJECTION: this is covert, passive-aggressive resistance to confrontation.

Healthy conversation precedes healthy confrontation. People will resent us if the only time we speak to people is to confront them. We must show honor and appreciation regularly in order to earn the currency of trust that allows us to make a withdrawal in confrontation.

So, how do we do healthy confrontation on the Dream Team?

We must create a system of accountability and affirmation that addresses issues in weekly tag-in’s and training sessions. We must not confront someone personally until we have fully and fairly trained them regarding expectations—i.e. “do this” and “don’t do that.” We must develop job descriptions and weekly, verbal performance reviews.
We must confront cheerfully expecting a positive result. Confrontation must be done informally and conversationally at first in an easy-going manner. Treating the confrontation too seriously, as a big deal, intensifies defensive reactions. Downplay initially and only escalate as necessary. We must not confront angrily. If we allow the issue to develop to the point of anger, we have allowed it to fester too long.
We must confront quickly and regularly. Delayed confrontation builds resentment. We must think in terms of “weekly feedback“ and refuse to allow and issue to go more than a seven-day cycle. In fact, our goal should be to address the issue the day of service, if possible. As noted above, if we build accountability and affirmation into our weekly tag-in’s, then higher level, personal confrontation will be rare. But when necessary, confrontation must be done quickly without negative emotion. Simple statements without qualification and defensive explanations promote positive confrontation. Detailed, defensive explanations clouded with apologies and hesitation promote defensive reactions. (Why are they nervous? What are they trying to say? What are the hidden signals they are trying to send?)
We must follow the 1-2-3 confrontation model that Jesus outlined:
1. Confront privately at first in a low-key, not-a-big-deal manner.
2. Then, if the confrontation does not produce positive results, take another team leader or key team member with you the second time.
3. If the issue is still not resolved, then appeal to your direct report for help. We must not be afraid to have honest conversations with the entire team, but only after private confrontation.
Cheerful confrontation must be followed up by affirmation. Every critique, no matter how positive, must be followed by intentional complimentary affirmation. This must be done sincerely without being patronizing or manipulative. Do not affirm more than you mean or more than is obviously deserved. Otherwise, it becomes flattery, which is dishonest and patronizing.

The spirit of entreaty: en-treaty is entering into agreement. — “A soft answer turns away wrath.“

Ken Sande, The Peacemaker

A Commitment to Biblical Conflict Resolution

As people reconciled to God by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we believe that we are called to respond to conflict in a way that is remarkably different from the way the world deals with conflict. (Matt. 5:9; Luke 6:27-36; Gal. 5:19-26)

We also believe that conflict provides opportunities to glorify God, serve other people, and grow to be like Christ. (Rom. 8:28-29; 1 Cor. 10:31-11:1; James 1:2-4)

Therefore, in response to God's love and in reliance on his grace, we commit ourselves to respond to conflict according to the following principles:

Glorify God — Instead of focusing on our own desires or dwelling on what others may do, we will rejoice in the Lord and bring him praise by depending on his forgiveness, wisdom, power, and love, as we seek to faithfully obey his commands and maintain a loving, merciful, and forgiving attitude. (Ps. 37:1-6; Mark 11:25; John 14:15; Rom. 12:17-21; 1 Cor. 10:31; Phil. 4:2-9; Col. 3:1-4; James 3:17-18; 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:12)

Get the Log out of Your Eye — Instead of blaming others for a conflict or resisting correction, we will trust in God's mercy and take responsibility for our own contribution to conflicts—confessing our sins to those we have wronged, asking God to help us change any attitudes and habits that lead to conflict, and seeking to repair any harm we have caused. (Prov. 28:13; Matt. 7:3-5; Luke 19:8; Col. 3:5-14; 1 John 1:8-9)

Gently Restore — Instead of pretending that conflict doesn't exist or talking about others behind their backs, we will overlook minor offenses or we will talk personally and graciously with those whose offenses seem too serious to overlook, seeking to restore them rather than condemn them. When a conflict with a Christian brother or sister cannot be resolved in private, we will ask others in the body of Christ to help us settle the matter in a biblical manner. (Prov. 19:11; Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 6:1-8; Gal. 6:1-2; Eph. 4:29; 2 Tim. 2:24-26; James 5:9)

Go and be reconciled — Instead of accepting premature compromise or allowing relationships to wither, we will actively pursue genuine peace and reconciliation—forgiving others as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven us, and seeking just and mutually beneficial solutions to our differences. (Matt. 5:23-24; 6:12; 7:12; Eph. 4:1-3, 32; Phil. 2:3-4)

By God's grace, we will apply these principles as a matter of stewardship, realizing that conflict is an assignment, not an accident. We will remember that success in God's eyes is not a matter of specific results, but of faithful, dependent obedience. And we will pray that our service as peacemakers will bring praise to our Lord and lead others to know His infinite love. (Matt. 25:14-21; John 13:34-35; Rom. 12:18; 1 Peter 2:19; 4:19)

We must choose: peace-breakers, peace-fakers or peacemakers?

A culture of honor is what permits healthy confrontation, and healthy confrontation is what preserves a culture of honor.

The ultimate measure of a culture of honor is how we treat those who leave our church under negative circumstances. Are we able to honor those who leave our church for whatever reason?

There are three possible reactions to a person leaving:

Speak negative about them and treat them rudely.
Say nothing to keep from saying something negative and treat them as if they don't exist.
Speak a blessing upon them, thank them for their contribution to Cornerstone in time, service and money and treat them with kindness regardless of their behavior. This is the ultimate test of a culture of honor.

Keeping Score

We must not keep score of how we are honored (except when we are teaching our children to honor their parents).

A culture of honor is not an excuse for controlling people to justify the manipulation of others under the guise of spirituality. This is not a message designed to produce more honor for “The Ministry.“ In fact, an overbearing pastoral authority and honor-for-the-pastor run amok is actually what, ironically, produces the toxic culture of dishonor.

When leaders demand honor, they actually are dishonoring. And their dishonor sows the seeds of competitiveness and strife. Jesus showed us how humility breeds a culture of honor. Jesus did not demand that the disciples wash his feet—he demanded that they allow him to wash theirs. Jesus taught a culture of honor through humility. Are we willing to wash one another's feet? Are we willing to serve one another?

And yet, Jesus celebrated the woman who washed his feet. Jesus showed honor and he received honor. And he rebuked those who did not show him honor. He could not do many mighty works in his hometown because they dishonored him:

Mark 6:1-6 1 He went away from there and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. 2 And on the Sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished, saying, “Where did this man get these things? What is the wisdom given to him? How are such mighty works done by his hands? 3 Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?“ And they took offense at him.

4 And Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.“ 5 And he COULD do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And he marveled because of their unbelief. And he went about among the villages teaching.

We limit the ministries of one another through dishonor and we release the full potential of one another when we honor each other. How much potential is untapped due to dishonor? How much potential will we unleash when we start honoring one another?

In what ways did familiarity breed contempt in Jesus' hometown? In what ways can it affect us?

(READ: John Bevere, Honor's Reward)

We get what we tolerate. We can say we want all the right things, but if we tolerate wrong behaviors, that's what we get. The lowest common denominator of what we tolerate is what we will end up with in our organization. Jesus did not simply overlook his disciples’ rivalries. He confronted it and insisted that any leader who would not submit to the culture of humility and honor would “have NO part with me.“ Jesus made a willingness to serve each other non-negotiable for his disciples.

Peter refused to let Jesus wash his feet at first. He resisted being taught by Jesus because he didn’t understand it. He had to be willing to submit without understanding, and then he received the explanation for such unusual behavior from Jesus. Peter had to be teachable.

Teachability is the single greatest measure of humble servanthood. Our ability is not nearly as important as our teachability. And teachability requires both that we can:

Take correction
Increase competence

Proverbs 15:31-33

31 The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.

32 Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

33 The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

(READ Proverbs daily to learn more about how to eagerly gain wisdom by seeking correction and growing competence.)

Partiality

How do we treat people? Do we show partiality? Do we treat the wealthy different than we do the poor? Do we treat the beautiful different than we do the unattractive? The young, the old? Men, women? Races? Do we treat them the way the world judges them or the way God judges them?

James 2:1-13 — 1 My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. 2 For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, 3 and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,“ while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,“ or, “Sit down at my feet,“ 4 have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

5 Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?

8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,“ you are doing well. 9 But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. 10 For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. 11 For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,“ also said, “Do not murder.“ If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law. 12 So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty. 13 For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.

Rules and the religious spirit

One of the greatest barriers to a culture of honor is a religious, rules-based culture. When the culture is rules-based, then everyone is measured by their adherence to the rules and the culture becomes rigid, fearful and without grace. No one measures up, thus no one is worthy of honor, and whatever honor is given is insincere, producing hypocrisy instead of true honor.

A culture of honor is a culture of grace, of freedom and healing. A culture of honor esteems people highly on the basis of who they are, not what they've done—for good or bad. A culture of honor provides the setting for people to be honest about their sins because it is a safe place, a place where love and respect are not withheld because someone fails. A culture of honor provides a setting where people feel free to confess their faults and be healed because they know they will not be judged as less or judged as failures because they need help. In fact, a culture of honor will esteem someone all the more when they are honest about their sins, for honest confession takes profound courage.

What do we respect? Perfection? Wealth? Competence? Beauty? These things are just a superficial mask if not reflective of a broken but healed believer. Is Freedom Life Church a safe place for problem-plagued people to be healed? What do we want to do with sinners: heal them or punish them? While we cannot tolerate high-handed sin (1 Co 5), yet when repentance comes, we must offer immediate restoration and acceptance (2 Co 2).

Danny Silk:

“For whatever reason, we’ve come to expect that church is a place where there isn’t going to be any sin. It is just not true. If we don’t know how to deal with sin, then we don’t know how to deal with people. We inevitably create a culture of law in order to keep people from sinning. The message of this culture is, ‘Contain your sin within yourself. Don’t show it to me; I can’t handle it.’“

“Therefore, we also need to have empowering ways of managing ourselves in the presence of other people’s problems. Our power and peace are rooted in being able to maintain our freedom around each other through self-control. Without a priority of self-control, we live in constant reaction to one another, which creates a culture of blame and irresponsibility. ‘Your stuff triggers my stuff, and I don’t know what to do when you do that. Stop it! Now I am going to blame you for what I do. If you don’t do that, I won’t have to do this.’“

Here’s an idea: Honor through gifts

Honor in Scripture often has to do with financial support: Honor the Lord, honor your parents, honor widows, honor elders, etc. In each of these cases, honor is shown by giving a financial gift. If we struggle with showing honor, we should start by offering tangible gifts that cost us significantly.

10 Cultural Responsibilities of the Hillsong Leadership Team

Brian Houston, Hillsong, Australia

Everything has a culture. Your life has a culture, your marriage, your home, your business, our churches have a culture… If you’re a leader, it is you who sets that culture.

Over the years I have been repeatedly asked the question, “How do you guys build such a strong culture?“ When Bobbie and I began Hillsong Church more than 30 years ago, we didn’t set out to build a particular kind of culture. Back then, there was no one else to sweep the floor after the service, or open the door and welcome others or pick up people to bring them along to our church. We had to BE the culture.

And that is what I have discovered – You cannot build the culture unless you are prepared to BE the culture.

Any culture is only ever as strong as its lowest common denominator. It’s not enough to just decide on a particular culture you want because if you have people on your team with a different spirit, then that is where the pace and level of your culture will be set.

Build a culture around faithful people. Faithful people in your organization are the “culture carriers.” They are the ones who will teach others the collective habits long after you have left. They will carry the vision and make the changes necessary to maintain the heart and purposes of your mission.

So, these are the 10 Cultural Responsibilities I ask our staff to embrace when it comes to setting the tone and framework for Hillsong Church. If you are leading a business, then adjust accordingly… it is never too late to BE the culture you want to see!

10 Cultural Responsibilities I Will Embrace:

1. I am a CAN-DO person

I surround myself with can-do people. It is too easy to be ruled by what can’t be done, what we can’t afford, don’t have time for, can’t do…there’s always a reason why not. People are quick to tell you why you can’t do it, can’t afford it, we don’t have the people or we don’t have the money, we don’t have the time…

One of the things that hinder building can-do people is when we live by experience. No innovation, creation or new thing, is ever born out of experience because experience only tells us what either has or hasn’t been done. But when you live with a can-do mindset, it’s amazing how you can find a way.

2. This is not my job, this is my life

2 Tim 1:9 says, “[God] has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began…“

We are saved for a purpose, we are called for a purpose we are graced for purpose; it’s all about God’s purpose. When we live called, what we do is a calling, not just a job. Jesus talked about the spirit of hirelings in John 10:11, 13. He said, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.“ He goes on to say that he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and they are out of there. That’s the spirit of a hireling; they are just there to do a job, make some money, get on to the next thing.

If you are a pastor, be careful not to look around the world for someone who is the best or most skilled. Build from within—from those who are planted in your church. A hireling spirit won’t stand with you when tough times come. But those who live saved and called for a purpose are there in the good times and the bad times and everything in between. The same goes for business people. Build INTO your people, raise them up and give them a vision for the long-term.

3. I Will Serve the Lord with Gladness

Not sadness, not madness, not badness but GLADNESS! If we don’t serve the Lord with gladness, then we start to think minimums. Minimums say, “What time do we have to get there? Do I have to come? Do I have to bring my wife? Do we have to stay very long? What time do you want me to go?“

Imagine if Jesus said to God about going to the cross, “Do I have to? How long do I have to stay up there? Do they have to use nails?“ Aren’t you glad that wasn’t the spirit of our Savior? If you try to build around people who think in minimums, that’s what you end up getting.

4. Empowerment Starts with Me

We often think of empowerment “downwards.” My experience is that empowerment works in every direction. Sometimes if you want to be empowered, you need to learn how to empower upwards. If you understand empowerment starts with you, then you live your life in a way where you are committed to empowering your leader or boss upwards.

What does that look like?

If you are complicated, over sensitive, have to sit and talk through your latest sensitivities every day, then to me, you are complicated; and that complication pulls the person you answer to into your complication, and your world.

Understand that empowerment starts with you and do whatever you can to live with the kind of initiative that enables your leaders to lift their head higher and get their eyes looking further down the road to set the pace and vision.

5. I Am Not On the Gossip Train

Every country has its Christian gossip mafia. They are the ones who are always on the phone, “Have you heard the latest? Did you hear about Hillsong, I don’t know whether you heard…?“ I want to pastor the kind of church where we are the last to know because we don’t get on the gossip train. If people ring you all the time to tell you the latest tragedy or rumor, you probably should ask yourself, “Why are they telling me?”

The Bible says that the mouth of the righteous is a well of life. Is your mouth a well of life or a sewer of defeat? Scripture also says that the mouth of the righteous feeds many. So if the people around you are depending on your words for nourishment—are they dying of malnutrition or are they thriving?

6. I Am One of Them

I’m thinking about “them” and “us”; them may be THE bosses, us are the workers. Them are upstairs, us are downstairs. Them and us.

I wonder in your church, where do you locate yourself? In the culture of our church, I want people to spiritually, emotionally and mentally see themselves to be on the same side. We are all “us,” we are all a part of the same team.

7. I Will Bring Those Around Me On My Journey

I’m talking about your family—your wife and kids; those that are “outside” of your work environment. Take them on the journey. I’ve seen so many sad mistakes within the normal weekly dynamics of a church team. People can leave work feeling offended or aggrieved; they go home to their wife and “vomit” their emotions about all of the stuff that happened…

Then they come to work the next day and during the day they get that issue worked out and talked through—it’s gone and everyone moves on—but they don’t resolve the issue at home. They go back to work and sort it out and the cycle repeats itself over and over.

The issue is, your spouse loves you, and if you are constantly bringing home the problems, but not the resolutions, then you could wake up one day and find your home is full of resentment. Your family will feel like church is getting too much of their family time.

I have never been a fan of compartmentalizing our time. It’s not God-time, then church-time and family time. I don’t think we need to box our lives like that. If you have wisdom you can obviously serve God, love the church and bring your family along on the journey with you. But if you keep dumping resentment at home, you set them up as enemies of church time. Use wisdom when it comes to what you “bring home.”

8. What I am Part of is Bigger than the Part I Play

No matter whom you are, the moment we think our part is bigger than what we are a part of, it begins to destroy culture and bring separation. I often think about Barnabas and Paul. They had a bit of a falling out, and Barnabas left—we literally never hear about him again.

Don’t forget that God anointed both Paul and Barnabas. If you are unteachable or can’t easily be told or taught, you will drift away from what God has for you. The devil loves to get people to separate from the thing they are part of—often with tragic results.

Is there someone in your life who loves you enough to look you in the eye and tell you what you need to hear? If you keep a teachable spirit and understand that what you are part of is bigger than the part you play, then I believe you can build a beautiful culture that will build the kind of team, ministry, business or church that is a magnet to people.

9. I Delegate, but I Don’t “Dump.”

The most difficult personality to locate when it comes to dynamics on a staff are the people who are wonderful upwards—nothing is too hard and there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for their boss. But when it comes to carrying out their instructions, they just offload it onto others.

Dumping and delegation are not the same. Dumping doesn’t consider the other person’s world or the other responsibilities they may have. This is one of the most caustic things to happen on a team. Dumping onto others undermines culture and is the hardest thing for a pastor or boss to recognize. Let’s be respectful of others’ time and their responsibilities, and know the difference between delegating—which is positive—and dumping.

10. My Spirituality is Attractive

This is nothing to do with facial features, but everything to do with our spirit. Mean-spirited, angry, judgmental and legalistic people; if they looked at their own spirit, they’d realize these attitudes give no grace and fail to understand Jesus’ finished work. I cannot stand that kind of “ugly” Christianity.

As believers, we need to carry His name well. We are His hands and feet. Let’s not be pseudo-spiritual, super-spiritual, opinionated, negative or critical Christians; that is not the kind of spirit we want in our churches. Stay away from that kind of thing and let’s agree to focus on loving God, loving people and loving life. That kind of spirituality is attractive.

Lastly, have a vision that inspires a culture. A leader should create a culture that produces growth and cultivates longevity and creativity in others.

Culture is built over time through hard work and diligence. Know who you are, what you want, where you are going and identify who is coming with you. Culture is the outworking of these things and what you allow: Direction and pattern. You ARE the culture!

Take a risk and create a culture that defies what is ordinary; one that is marked by personal discipline, a different spirit and a different heart – a culture of love and servanthood that prefers others. Keep your habits and those of your team on track. We can build a church or a business, but if we don’t build a culture we cannot build anything that lasts.

Luke 22:24-34

24 A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. 25 And he said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. 26 But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. 27 For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.

28 “You are those who have stayed with me in my trials, 29 and I assign to you, as my Father assigned to me, a kingdom, 30 that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

31 “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 32 but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” 33 Peter said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” 34 Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the rooster will not crow this day, until you deny three times that you know me.”